Empathy: can it be taught?

People skills

“Saroj, how can I develop my people skills around beauty therapy? Can empathy be taught?”

That knotty question came to me from a beauty therapist who’d successfully completed her Indian Head Massage Course with Prana (and who later came back for a treatment). The thing is, she’d learnt the practical side of beauty therapy but her training hadn’t included ‘the elephant in the room’: how to respond to real people in the salon environment (her future clients).

I felt for her. At the same time I was thrilled – because in that one question she’d identified the one thing that really mattered after all the training. Yes, it would set her apart from her peers in a very competitive field but it was so much more than that… it told me that she was emotionally ready to be in service to others.

To be honest, I have never laid all this out as a ‘business strategy’ – but tuning into people’s needs and feelings (spoken or unspoken) is vital.

My teachers

Later, I recalled the teachers I’d had as a young girl. The ones who’d really made a difference and who wanted their students to understand that knowledge alone isn’t enough. In the academic world, they call this ’emotional intelligence’.

In the real world, listening and observing is what you do when you actually care. And the more you listen, the more enriched your own life is. No formal training can teach you that; but wanting more than ‘competence’ opens up your mind and asks you “why am I here?”

So, can empathy be taught?

I want to say to you now: practice the art of reflection. Sit quietly and prepare your mind. When you are ready, you will be physically, mentally and emotionally tuned into your client. It is a process beyond being competent and trained.

Practice each day. It will become second nature to you and transcend everything you’ve been ‘taught’… you and your client will be in harmony.